I'm absolutely horrendous when it comes to using the phone. I don't know what it is or when it started. In middle/high school I was on the phone every day. I had no qualms about calling friends. Nowadays email is king for me. Am I the only one who has grown antisocial? I can't blame it on the kids because people have always had kids. I wonder if people visited each other in person less once the telephone became mainstream? Maybe it's inherent laziness? Or an inherent desire to be more efficient? Yeah, I like that one. I'll go with it.

I didn't think about him having another. Never thought to factor that in. It was inevitable though when you think about it. What's the likelihood of him not having another during all that time? There's bound to be some jealousy there.

I don't know about me really having a good attitude about the whole thing. Maybe it's half good attitude and half selfishness - grasping for a chance to have what most others take for granted regardless of his reasons for not being around.

What a roller coaster I've been on since last week. I read his messages over and over, re-read his comments, stare at his picture, and today play and re-play his voicemail message. I've been skeptical, nervous, wondering, imagining. It's my turn now, that's all I can say. He's mine if I want, I know that. I want so he will be. Last time I had no choice in his leaving, no influence in who he was. This time I will make a difference. Because for whatever time we have left he is mine.

I am beyond blessed, if that's possible. I have a wonderful family - immediate and extended. I thank God for them every day. MochaGrl and MusicMan have been so supportive; I don't think they even realize how what they do makes me feel. I love them. They are mine too. :D

Explain to me how your emergency becomes my emergency. Explain how your failure becomes my fault. Go ahead. I'll wait as you formulate your answer.

Nothing logical? Didn't think so.

I don't mind helping, really. What I mind is when you don't have your priorities straight and when you finally realize something has to be done all of sudden I'm expected to feel obligated to not merely assist but solve your problems for you.

"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." Are you really convinced that you lack the ability to 'comprehend'? Well, if I'm having this feeling of frustration because of you then maybe you do. Cruel but possibly true.

Fortunately for you I can see past your guilt trips and retain some semblance of compassion for your situation.

You and your other half are two peas in a pod. I'll bet you never noticed that. You both never truly look inward but always project the blame onto others. Nothing is ever your fault. You shouldn't have to follow the rules. Everyone owes you something. It's a shame because you have potential to go so much further than your short-sightedness shows you.

SOME people are self-important. They feel the world revolves around them. Why? Nothing is ever their fault, or if it is it's because they had good reasons. Um, ok. Do these people really believe my life would have a void if they stayed out of it?

I ran into an old crush last weekend. He looked cute as ever. His presence brought back so many memories of my first year of college which was when we met. I was a naive 17 year old who always sought to see the good in people. So trusting. So open. So easily attached. I learned quickly to not be so trusting. Now I am so jaded that I am surprised when I see good in people. All of this has little to do with my crush. It was nice to see him...and remember. Oh, he had a friend with him - a guy that liked me once. We went out for lunch and I think I met his mom, but that went nowhere fast. He wasn't my type. Those memories I could have done without. lol

I met a man today.
He killed another man.
...who raped his daughter.
She was three.

I hate those stories.

The guy did five years. Fortunately, she's eight now and doesn't remember anything, nor did she have any lasting physical damage.